The shooting

Continued from The barbecue man

The Barbecue Man burst in through the back door of Cueva holding up this tiny, silver weapon and fired a couple of shots at random. The noise was so dull and the gun so small I honestly thought it was a BB gun. My reaction was still to get down on the floor though, and I crouched down between the bar and the bench. Steve and Magenta were thinking the same as me – they didn’t think the gun was real and just stood where they were behind the bar. He was saying something now but I have no recollection of what, when he aimed the weapon in my direction and fired again. I was hit and let out a shriek, not from pain but from shock, and sudden panic at not knowing what was going to happen next. I still didn’t think it was a real gun – it felt like somebody had punched me in the back really hard, I didn’t even think I was bleeding. But I was stuck inside a tiny bar on the floor with nowhere to run or hide and what was clearly a madman.

I stayed resolutely still, hearing more voices and more shots firing but not seeing what was going on. Magenta came down on the floor beside me to see if I was alright and put her arm around me. I told her he’d hit me but I thought I was ok, and asked her very calmly if I was bleeding. She took her arm away and it was covered in blood, at which point we realised things were perhaps a little more serious.

Sometime around now I looked up and saw Steve holding the gun out at arms length and saying something about cats and dogs. Then the shooter was out the door and Steve ran out in the street shouting for help. Magenta helped me up and began screaming at the man, “What have you done? What have you done to my friend? She’s bleeding! We don’t even know you! She’s bleeding!”

I leant on a post outside – it was starting to hurt a bit more now and I could feel the damp of the blood on my back. People came out from the dive shop across the road but at first no-one would help cause Steve was still absent-mindedly holding the gun and they thought he was the shooter. He flung it on top of a roof and suddenly there were people everywhere, including the Barbecue Man, who was wandering about the road muttering, like nothing was wrong. Somebody put me in a plastic chair and Andrea, a girl who had previously decided she hated me for reasons unapparent, came out and held my hand and got Dr. John on the phone for Magenta.

Now Dr. John requires a bit of an explanation of his own. The first time I saw him was the very first weekend I was out in Utila. It was late on a Saturday night and there was only one bar open – the rapidly deteriorating and soon to close ‘Poco Loco’. There were about five people sitting at the bar, and one on the dancefloor – a tall, shaggy, grey-haired man, shirtless and a pair of red-rimmed sunglasses on, leaping about like a maniac.

“That’s the doctor,” somebody said.

“Doctor of what?”

“Medicine. That’s the island doctor.”

My eyes widened. We were advised against medical emergencies before 1pm.

The first time I actually met Dr. John, though of which I’m sure he has no recollection, was in the back room of the Wednesday-and-Friday late spot, Bar in the Bush. He was sitting in a chair in the dark beside a tarantula, sporting his Che-style beret and some sparkly black nail varnish, completely whacked out, sweating profusely and largely incapable of speech.

Luckily we caught Dr. John on a relatively sane night and he was soon on his way to the scene. There were people all over the place but I was bent over in a chair, by this point dizzy and nauseous, and not able to see much of what was going on. So when suddenly the crowd took a simultaneous run backwards as the German gunman made a reappearance, I freaked out a little. “Where are you going? Don’t leave me!” I screamed, and the only person who didn’t was Archie, local vendor of ill humour and surly nature, who for the first time that anyone had seen showed some human emotion and yelled at the gunman, “What you done? That a woman! You gone shot a woman!”

When it became apparent that the Barbecue Man had not returned with another weapon, the crowd quickly flocked back and were now having to restrain Magenta who was set on beating the living daylights out of him, still wandering calmly back and forth in the street. Without warning, I was suddenly yarked out of the chair from behind. I let out a brief yell of surprise, but quickly deduced that since nobody was running away this time it must be Dr. John. I was bundled into a golfcart and as we drove off towards the clinic I shouted for somebody to get my bag, which I had flung down on the ground beside me…

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2 comments
  1. Deniz Okutgen said:

    you know, i have heard this story so many times, and no offense, could hear it more a million times. Obviously you didn’t deserve to go through the pain, but your grandkids will think their Nan was a bit awesome 🙂

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