Bad driver

Back at the start of September we went down to the Borders for a friend’s birthday celebration, by all accounts expecting a hippy campfire weekend out in the woods. This version of events continued accordingly until around 10pm, when we decided to make a diversion to a charity rave in a nearby field. We thought the field in question was only a few hundred metres down the road from the woodland community where we’d set up camp. The car was already running on fumes, as was I – Laura, still sober, offered to drive to the new venue. She had no insurance and hadn’t driven in some two years, but we were on quiet country roads, what could go so wrong? I placed my driving licence in that nameless hollow in front of the gear stick: “it’s a really old picture, they’ll never be able to tell it’s not you!”

The rave location turned out not to be just down the road at all, and we ended up rolling around the countryside surrounding Galashiels – thankfully mostly downhill – on a lengthy search, fraught with potential fuel-death. After having the chance to stop in town and fuel up (me in my intoxicated state; no doubt that’s illegal as well), we spotted a small, painted sign lit by fairy-lights in a gateway: “Party→”

Sometime after 9am next morning Laura drove us back to our tents, confident she was fine to take charge of the vehicle despite no sleep. None of the rest of us were in a position to disagree. None of the other five of us full-grown tall people, that is, that were to squash into the small Seat… A car that had begun the trip spotless was showing the signs of having been with us every step of that epic full-moon weekend, filled with empty booze containers, grass, and mud up to the ceiling…

As if all that hadn’t been illegal enough, I discovered this week when I went to renew my driving licence that the current one had expired sometime back in August… Not to mention the fact that I’d lost the accompanying paper part somewhere in South America, and hadn’t lived at the displayed address for over four years… The new one arrived already, no questions asked. Sometimes, luck is on my side!


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